haiz..went to sch today.had to finish my fucking course work.sheesh.at last i gt e skin tone of Amy Lee rite now.n den we were so hungry dat we went to e kedai mamak n bought sum food.lapar mcm nk mampos sak.den e stooopid keling so bloody bodoh sia.ade aku pgl die pastu die tgk atas?abeh tu senyum2 plak.my god.cam retard sak.den aku pgl die lagik 2/3 kali abeh die tgk tepi lah tgk bawah pastu senyum2.shiok sendiri sak.den me n zati ketawa mcm nk mampos.baru die pusing kat kiter.ahhaha.abeh biler aku nk bayar.die hayal lagik n i was like already mengucap-ing.zati dah kekek giler.haiyah.blang tu bangla balek india sua.menyusahkan hidop aku jek.

Jewel taped a piece at 9:17 PM

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ haiz....i've been realy twisted & broken.dammn.jus my luck.aaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!y does dis always happen 2 me?im sooooo pissed.soo many freakin qs r running thru my head.why?how?who?what?sheesh...*crying*...for every last bruise u gave me..for every time i sat in tears...for the million ways u hurt me...i jus wanna tell u dis...u broke my world...made me strong..thank you...gosh...i duno wad 2 do already..im soo confused...my heart's nt even bruised...its already broken.it hurts sooooo bad man...when is my suffering gona end????i was soooo naive.soooo dumb.man...i duno wheter i should even call him up and ask him.he could have had it all...it could have been sooo rite..i would have given him everything.but he thought me sum lessons...it wont happen again.it hurts too much jus 2 tink abt it.i tried 2 pretend it didnt hurt.but whu am i kidding?this song by avril really explains wad im in now.


Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging


You were all the things I thought of I knew
And I thought we could be


You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending


All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do



It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

gosh..i am soooo screwed.my heart is soooo numb.*sigh*here's another song by avril...read it n u'll prolly understand.

I’m giving up
On everything because you mess me up
Don’t know how much you screwed it up
You never listen, that’s just too bad
Because I’m moving on
I won’t forget you were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don’t patronize me,


Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted?
Do you forget it’s now
You never got it?
Do you get it now,


Gotta get away
There’s no point in thinking about yesterday
It’s too late now
It will never be the same
We’re so different now, yeah



I know I wanna run away
if only I could run away
I told you what I wanted
I was forgotten, I won’t be forgotten never again



Jewel taped a piece at 5:37 AM

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ holla everyone!!yeah yeah.i noe.been a very long time since i updated my blog.hey..u can't blame me ok..i got a life too.i went wif luqman n his frens yesterday.wanted 2 c e nafa n laselle exhibition thingy.e laselle one was quite boring.nt mcuh stuff to c.at nafa it was fun...looked at all e really really nice paintings.i thought of like taking a pic of any of the painting and like try showing to ms sim.she sure criticise sia.she's like the Queen Of Criticism.i wanna c her reaction when after she criticise the pic and then i tell her its frm one of the students at nafa.ahahaaa!!take that!!it was quite a fun outing actually.had fun wif luqman n frens.bt nt as fun as i would haf had if i hang wif shaker n geng.hehee.no offence luqman..if ur reading this..cuz actually half the time i didnt noe wad u guys were toking abt..hehehe..im blurr..yes i noe dat.hhaha.aniways..iwasnt dat familiar wif his frens so onli toked to a few peepz like..hairy,fad and ringo..i tink...after nafa..we went to town to eat.bt e place was packed to e freaking max so left onli me n luq n hairy.bt sumhow hairy went in n got a seat i tink.den me n luq went to check the pool house.den ringo & slac came over.we waited for an open table.after we got e table..dey played for a while.luq asked me to play bt i didnt..4 one thing...i dun really remember how 2 play...4 a 2nd thing..it brought back alot of memories i'd rather nt think abt..let alone talk abt.arnd 8:30 like dat...i went off...luq sent me to train station n i was on my way home.zati called me so itoked to her on my way home..hehehe...thank god 4 dat..lse i'd jus fallen asleep.luckily i didnt follow shaker n geng to pulau ubin cuz su gt into an accident.she cut her knee.2cm deep man..dammn..dats gota hurt.she didnt even tell her mom dat she was goin to pulau ubin.she actually told dem that she was goin to sch.tsk..tsk...tsk..tsk.tu lah...bohong ngan mak lagik kan...ni lah dinamerkan daolat(iz dat how u spell it?my malay is atrocious and im proud of it baby!!)so she kinda gt busted.she even smsed me to tell me if her sis or her bf called..dat im to tell dem dat im in sch wif her.lucky no one called.cuz if her sis or wan had called n i told dem dat im wif su in sch den dey found out dat actually su was at pulau ubin and gt into an accident..tak aku yg kena marah.sheesh.dis bloody woman is ALWAYS ruining my life.ilah oso.always askin me to lie to her mom.man...my dosa belambak alredy ah..my left side's gotten heavier.haiz...tommorow gt extra art lessons...sheesh.when the hell am i gona finish my painting??!!can't wait to see how it turns out.hahaa.b4 it looked ugly with loads of white patches cuz i jus started painting.now it looks slightly nicer ah...haha.left onli amy lee's face..arms..dress..turntable n a chain.haiz...sounds like alot bt these things are quite small ar..i hope i can finish it by this week.im sick of doing the same ol' thing over and over and over again..gettin abit jaded...oh well..i tink i've written enuf 4 today...peace out y'all!!

Jewel taped a piece at 2:23 AM

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ supp y'all!had a terrible day today.started out quite normal.bt on the way to school,i got caught in the rain AGAIN.i already haf a freaking headache frm being caught in the rain yesterday.so now im officially having a freaking fever.i hate being sick.and it aint even my fault.after the flag raising thingy,i went straight to the art room wif niz n gang.started painting b4 ms sim screamed at us.and for no apparent reason,ms sim came over n jus shouted at me.i mean like wtf?i wasnt doin nuthin wrong.i was painting like everyone else n she picked on me.she told me nt to use black for the background.like hello.i already painted the background black like i told her i would.is she like retarded or sumting?can't she understand or even remember simple tings?i specifacally told iu would be using black for the background waaaaaaaaay b4 i started drawing on the canvas.n she told me that i could use black bt mus haf tone so dat it wont be dull.she asked me to get the correct tone frm hidayah.so i did.i did everyting she told me to n everyting i told her i would do.n she still screamed at me.man i felt like wringing her neck right at that very moment.she said that my painting looked ugly wif black background.i mean like did i ask for her opinion?n i jus kept my mouth shut cuz i want interested in wat she was saying anyway.n becuz of dat i gt another lecture frm her.this was the conversation between ms sim n me(or jus her tokin to herself)Ms Sim:Y are u using this colour for the background?Me:i already told u dat i was gonna use black for the background.Ms Sim:y is this part like dat?it looks so ugly.i want u to change it.Me:*keeping quiet*Ms Sim:u are....im trying to help u here n trying to give u professional advice*didnt know professional advice included insulting one's painting*n u are soo stubborn.u are very unteachable n u haf a very bad attitude.if i tell the others to change their painting.they would listen to me.bt nt u.*prolly cuz i haf a mind of my own*u haf a very bad attitude.frm now on,im nt goin to help u wif ur painting.even if u ask for my help i wont help u becuz u are so stubborn.*i wasnt even asking for her help..actually i wasnt saying nuthin*if u fail dun cum running to me.*even if i pass i wont cum running to her*when i keep my mouth shut n dun answer back,she will go:im tokin to u u noe.dun be rude n answer my qs!!wat e hell???when i tok back to her..she'll go:u dun be rude to me ah..im toking to u..dun answer me back.waliao weh...when i shut up she says im being rude.when i answer her back still im being rude.it seems to her that no matter what i do im rude.i mean like wtf?dun cha tink she being unreasonable??its like everything i do is wrong..i haf the wrong attitude...im being rude lah.wassup wif dat???i am sooo freaking pissed man.so she says she' s nt gonna help me huh?like i care!!!she better make sure she dun interfere in my painting tommorow.else im like gonne fucking tell her off!!!n when i tot my day was gonna get better.i gt pissed off by another tr.nt strange huh dat i hate both ms sim n my malay tr.i mean mdm zuariah is sooofreaking lame.she mus haf cum frm like e stone age or sumting.every one mth or so she'll let us go to e comp lab.e band 2 class gets 2 go like almost everyday.man i wish i was bad in malay.being in e band 1 class suz big time!!!jus now she scolded me for no reason.wtf???she was tokin abt sum pantang larang thingy.e pantang larang was:kalau nk kluar rumah jamah makanan sikit kalau tak nanti sumting bad will happen to u or sumting.i said dat e meaning is so dat u wont like kempunan of e food.den i was telling my fren e meaning den she said i was tokin unnecessarily.she doesnt even noe wat i was tokin abt n she jus like fucking accused me.she even said dat i toked across e class.how can that be when my fren is jus beside me.my fren is nt deaf u noe.bloody idiot tr.soo fucking lame.my wish is gotta be:to kill both ms sim n zuariah b4 i die.dat is if i happen to die young or sumting.jus get me a gun or aniting so dat i can kill dem n jus die in peace.fucking trs.bloody mutherfuckers.damm pissed off man!!now im sick.i hope i dun haf to go 2 sch tommorow.i hate sch.i hate e trs dere.i hate all e mutherfuckers arnd me.i jus hate dem all!!!!!y dun i jus kill myself.it'll sure as hell be alot more easier.


Jewel taped a piece at 8:23 PM

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